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The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life

Rejected Love

Most of us know the damaging effects of rejection. Although some rejection has
little effect such as a young boy asking for a date and being refused (or a girl
wanting a boy to ask her) or applying for a credit card and being denied, some
rejection can mar us for life. The rejection of a parent is the most damaging.
There is another rejection that can cause damage too. It is the "other side of
the coin" as we have just mentioned above and it is often a result of rejection
one has faced before. It is "rejected love"

What is rejected love? Why does it happen?

Well first we need to realize that by love I am not referring to "Eros" love or
that of a sexual nature. This type of love should often be addressed as lust,
not love.

Most of us have experience attempts at helping someone who has refused our
offers to help. Often we may blow it off as when we try to open a door for
someone and get the old "I can do it myself". When those that reject our offer
are strangers, it is easy to disregard it.

What if our offer is refused by someone we care about? Someone we love? I am
sure many of you have been on both sides if this at some time in your life. When
we see someone we love that is hurting and we try to comfort them but in return
we are told to leave them alone, we may feel our love has been rejected. We may
even feel it is further rejected when this person reaches out to others to get
the help we tried to offer them.

I know of both men and women who have sacrificed to help their spouse go through
college and when that person had a very successful job they left the person who
helped them for someone else.

I know of someone who when he was young helped his girlfriend run away from home
because she was very depressed and suicidal if she stayed at home. She then met
someone else and after all that was done for her, she left him for someone else.

We can see from some of these things that often love was only one sided as the
object of ones love was only using it to gain what he or she wanted. When one
realizes that the love we were offering was only used to manipulate us, it is
very traumatic.

"Fireproof" is an excellent movie to show rejected love and how this love came
to be rejected. You see, sometimes there is a reason our love may be rejected.
The person we love may doubt our sincerity. Many face it because the love they
once had for each other has "cooled off" as other things became more important
then the person we once loved.

There are things we can do about rejected love. For those who are married to
the one who is now rejecting our love, one possible thing is to think about when
you first met the one who is now rejecting your love and think of what you did
to get them to love you then. Why not do some of those things again? Let them
know they are still special to you and that you care about what they think by
listening to them....carefully.

Often we may offer our love simply as a friendship to someone who needs friend
but our friendship is refused. It may help if we remember that some have had
very difficult childhoods and they may have had parents who were abusive and had
rejected them or they may have been the one that all the other kids made fun of.

My friend, if one has only known rejection in their live, it will be hard to
accept that someone may really care about them but the effort to help them see
that you do care without strings attached will be very rewarding.

Oh many will find there are those who seem to care but all they want is to use
us. Some will use us to get something from us and they may say they love us but
it is Eros love....which is actually lust if they do not make the commitment of
marriage before they demand intimacy with us. Others may just get back at
someone else. We all know people who just want to go after someone that is
already taken just to be able to conquer them. Once they do, they go on to the
next person.

One of the things I really liked about "Fireproof" is the way they showed that
the person who felt that his love toward his wife was being rejected was also
doing it to the person who loved him the most.

Lets go back to the person who felt rejected after helping his girlfriend. He
was feeling pretty rejected after his love was refused and his father went to
talk to him and as he was talking to his son, he told him of another man who
went out of his way to help many others only to have his love rejected by those
he wanted to help and just as his father was hurting to see his son's love
rejected, he also had to stand by helplessly as he watched his son....being
nailed to a cross!

Matthew 23:37

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that kills the prophets, and stones them which are
sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a
hen gathers her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!

My friend, if you have been rejecting your spouses love...start accepting it and
returning it now...but far far more important, if you have not accept God's
love....you can accept it right now....just by following the instructions on
this page:

http://shatterdmen.com/first_step.htm

Rejection:
http://www.shatterdmen.com/Rejection.htm


"Someone To Care" by Jimmie Davis

Someone to care, someone to share
All your troubles like no other can do
He'll come down from the skies
And brush the tears from your eyes
You're his child and he cares for you.

When the world seems cold and your friends seem few
There is someone who cares for you
When you've tears in your eyes your heart bleeds inside
There is someone who cares for you.

Someone to care, someone to share
All your troubles like no other can do
He'll come down from the skies
And brush the tears from your eyes
You're his child and he cares for you.

When your disappointments come and you feel so blue
There is someone who cares for you
When you need a friend a friend till the end
There is someone who's a friend to you.

Someone to care, someone to share
All your troubles like no other can do
He'll come down from the skies
And brush the tears from your eyes
You're his child and he cares for you...

 

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