The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
Murder by Cop
Although we hear a lot about "corrupt cops or trigger happy cops, it is my understanding that the majority of police officers have never even drawn their weapons in line of duty. Needless to say, even fewer have used them.
I also believe that most police officers become law enforcement officers in order to serve and protect. They value life greatly and often put their own lives on the line to protect others. Still, they also know that they need to protect their own live because most know they have families that depend upon them so often they have to react within a fraction of a second, a reaction that could well end a human life.
Most of us have heard about "Suicide by Cop" which is a colloquial term used to describe a suicidal incident whereby the suicidal subject engages in a consciously, life-threatening behavior to the degree that it compels a police officer to respond with deadly force. (1) From1987 to 1997 there were 46 confirmed cases of suicide by cop in the Los Angeles County . Suicide by cop occurs when someone could not pull the trigger themselves and they knew, when forced with the circumstances, the police officer would respond with deadly force.
Anytime it happens, it is always very traumatic to the police officers involved. It can take years to fully recover from the trauma from having to have taken a life.
There is another situation that could force a police officer to take a life. It is "Murder by Cop" Although it is less likely then suicide by cop mainly because the one who is attempting it can not predict how the person they want to murder will behave when stopped, it can still be done.
40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish the ex-spouse (2) How often was this done by a report that their child was abducted by not telling the police it was their father that picked them up because he had a court order allowing him to do so?
Some other things brought out by Karl Zinsmeister are:
Feelings of anger towards their former spouses hindered effective involvement on the part of fathers; angry mothers would sometimes sabotage father's efforts to visit their children
"Mothers may prevent visits to retaliate against fathers for problems in their marital or post-marital relationship."
77% of non-custodial fathers are NOT able to "visit" their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. In other words,
non-compliance with court ordered visitation is three times the problem of non-compliance with court ordered child support and impacts the children of divorce even more.
Again, could it be that some of this is done by calling the police to say the child had been kidnapped when they know the father has picked them up per court order? If police were told that the abductor was armed when they knew they were not, I contend that this is at least attempted murder by cop and I contend it should be prosecuted as such.
If any non-custodial parent, be it the mom or the dad has court order rights to their children and it is reported that those children were abducted that person reporting it should be charged with a crime of equal severity as the one they accused would face. (3)
As the director of Shattered Men, I have had many men tell me that they have picked up their children for their court order visitation time (since when should a parent be a visitor?) only to have police notified a short time later that "someone" kidnapped the child. Often the police are told that the abductor is armed when the person making the report knows they are not.
Ok, I know some of you are asking how this could be murder by cop. Let me explain. Because of our society and things like Adam's law, the police are very alert to the potential harm that can befall a child when they are abducted. When they are told that the abductor is armed, they are especially careful and rightly so. Often they are not told that the person who has the children have a right to do so thus that accuser is not even questioned as to wither or not there are court orders allowing it. This is one reason they do not mention that the "abductor" is their father. If they do mention it, they will often falsely accuse the father of threatening harm to them.
I have been told by a member of Shattered Men that he took his son from his ex when she was abusing the son and as he was leaving, she stabbed him in the back. His ex reported that her son was kidnapped at gunpoint. The police stopped him a short distance from the house, told him to get out of the car at gunpoint and then threw him to the ground as he was still bleeding from the stab wound. It did not matter that he told them he was the father and was keeping his ex from abusing him. Had he had a cell phone and it rang at the time, he could well have automatically reached for it and he could have been shot by the police. I do contend that this would indeed…be murder by cop.
I also contend that this happens far more often then most of us realize. I doubt there are any records kept on the number of reported "child abductions" in which it turns out to be the non-custodial parent but I am sure it is much higher then we realize. In fact, Tammi Peppermen, a child advocate has written this for us to pass on to those in Shattered Men:
To all Fathers:
If you are dealing with an abusive/vindictive ex, and are due parenting time this summer...are being denied your parenting time, or have EVER been denied parenting time in the past, please take note to follow a few simple rules:
Do not go anywhere with your children, without your court order stating that you are due parenting time.
DO NOT pick up your children without a witness with you, preferably someone in law enforcement.
Most of you are required to give the custodial parent notice of WHERE you are going, or will be with your children during your parenting time. If this is the case, PLEASE, PLEASE realize that abusive women feel entitled to MORE than they have. A friend of mine, for example is planning a trip to Disneyworld , although he lives in a different state...he pays child support, and paid out hefty sums in spousal maintenance already, but abusive exes feel entitled to more...
If you are doing things with your children, that COULD make the ex angrier, be certain to document every moment of your lives...document every second, every minute of your time with your children...insure that the ex cannot falsely accuse you of something. The most common practice of these women, when dad has plans to go on BIG wondrous vacations, is to not only deny visitation, but also to insure that this does not happen...be doubly prepared for false allegations, or an amber alert with you as the man whom is "armed and dangerous"
It is very good advise.
Murder by cop does not always have to be custodial and non-custodial parent. In reality it could have happened with Susan Smith (4) when she reported that she had been carjacked by an African-American man who drove away with her sons still in the car she knew were at the bottom of a lake where she sent them when she strapped them in the back seat of the car she reported stolen.
Jennifer Wilbanks, (5) better known as the runaway bride could well have murdered by cop as she accused a Hispanic male and a white woman of kidnapping and sexually assaulting her in April 2005. She also gave a description of the car. I ask, what would have happened if the police saw a car with two people who fit this description in it? Would it not be possible for that car to have been stopped and under the right circumstances, for them to have been shot? Remember, the police were looking for kidnappers and rapist. They would have only a split second to decide if those people made a wrong move.
Just as suicide by cop is very traumatic to both the police officers that are involved and the families of those that chose this means of suicide, murder by cop would be just as traumatic.
I ask how you would feel if you just shot someone for kidnapping a child only to find out that person was the parent of that child and had court orders allowing them to do so.
The solution would be to first of all, research to see how often this does happen and then to pass laws that would do more then a slap on the hand and perhaps charge someone with false reporting if that,
If someone reports abduction when they know it did not occur, that person needs to be charged with a felony as equal in severity as kidnapping itself. If they reported the abductor is armed when they knew they were not, I contend the charge should be…attempted murder by cop!
Pastor Ken Deemer
Director Shattered Men
P.O. BOX 166
MARION INDIANA 46952-0166
Web site: http://www.shatterdmen.com
Interactive Group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Shatteredmen/
(please click above to vote for this site)
JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month