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The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life


Abortion is not about choice.  It is a very real industry which is more about power and control and MONEY.  It is a multi billion dollar industry that does not give informed consent.  By this, I mean they  do not tell those who are considering abortion the whole story.  They do not tell the women and men that they may well wonder what their child would have been like years down the road.  Lauren would like to tell you her side of this story.  It was almost a tragic story that may well have been a blimp in a news paper soon to have been forgotten by all but a few people   It was almost tragic...but then JESUS stepped in and changed the ending of this story for all eternity.  Read Lauren's  story for a full picture of this industry....

Johnny and Lauren have named their precious baby Johnny.  We have included Johnny on our memorial page 

Lauren Story

Abortion From A Mothers View 

***** DISCLAIMER  *****

Before you read my story, PLEASE READ THIS

I was asked by  Shattered Men to write my story of a mother who had an abortion. My Boyfriend Johnny had written his story from a Father's view. We would BOTH like to say WE ARE NOT PROFESSIONAL WRITERS we have NO special talents we just write from our Hearts. WE ARE IN NO WAY BLAMING ANYONE other then OUR SELVES we know we are the ones with the responsibility. 

We give our back ground on our Family life ONLY to show you where we came from. In NO WAY ARE WE BLAMING OUR FAMILY for OUR mistake WE KNOW we MUST face the truth it was US AND ONLY US.

WE ARE NOT THE VICTIMS HERE. The VICTIM is our sweet little Baby. HE IS THE REAL VICTIM NOT US.

Like I said Johnny and I write from our hearts about 2 people who made a mistake that will haunt us the rest of our life, Thank You

Lauren

Abortion From A Mothers View

This is the most painful thing to write. This is a story of a Mother who had an abortion a year ago. I am 20 years old. I have been on my own since the age of 16. I have become a strong person

Johnny and I have known each other for 4 years. He is my rock.  We made a mistake and we BOTH know this. I found out that I was pregnant. I told Johnny at first we were both happy. We knew this was a Gift from God. We were going to get married but we didn't have the money. Johnny asked his Parents for the money. We would pay them back. They said no and told us if we didn't have an abortion they would cut Johnny out of the Family. When we left that night we talked about having the Baby but we knew we couldn't afford it.

Johnny's Mom made the appointment and told us to have it done. We thought about it and we had fights about it but we made the hardest decision we ever made.  We would have the abortion. 

So we went and had it done. When I came out I saw Johnny and we both cried. Johnny left me off and went home. I went in and tried to sleep. I was in pain and couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I heard the Dr say " Lauren your doing the right thing " I remember crying out NO PLEASE I changed my mind i don't want an abortion. He said it's to late. I cried NO! NO! NO!

PLEASE STOP. He said it's over Lauren. I remember saying

" I killed my Baby " I am in so much pain. I am in a daze. I hear the Nurse talk to me but I don't hear what she is saying. I look around I have no idea where I am. I think I asked her did I have my baby? She said no you had an abortion. I looked at her and said NO that can't be true. I WAS SCREAMING NO. NO.

I woke up at home and I knew it was true. I cried.

 What kind of monster KILLS her unborn Baby? What kind of monster am I?  How can I live with myself knowing I had killed a part of me?  A part of Johnny and I? Did Johnny blame me?  Did he hate me? Is he going to leave me? all the thoughts going around my head. My head is spinning. I AM A MONSTER. I KILLED MY BABY. I AM A MONSTER. I AM NOT HUMAN. How can a Mother kill her unborn child?

 That was year ago. Time has NOT lessened the pain. My Baby would have been a year old. I find myself buying toys for a Baby Boy. I buy them and when i get home I forget that my Baby is NOT there. He is dead and I start to cry again. I go see Johnny he is sitting at his desk he is holding a stuffed bear he had got our Child. He is crying holding it. We both cry together as we hold each other. 

We Know WE KILLED OUR BABY. We know IT NO ONE'S Fault but our own but that does not help. Since then God has forgiven us. We have been given a New Life but at the same time we know our Little Boy will NOT be given this chance. We know he is with God but still we know we are the reason. We were BOTH weak.  

Now when i go to a park with Johnny we sit and watch the kids play. We both wonder what it would have been like. If Only we were NOT so weak. If ONLY, If ONLY.  

I have to stop now the tears are coming down. thank you for letting me get this out I Pray that my words have NOT offend anyone with this. this is from my heart. 

Lauren

Please read Johnny's Story also

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