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The hidden half of domestic violence

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Kids spill the beans on Women's Shelters

Ontario Taxpayer Watch Report Published by the Ontario Citizen's Free
Press - By the citizens and for the citizens of Ontario - March 22,

**Kids spill the beans:**
**Halton Women's Shelter exposing children to**

*Young children forced to watch a graphic video showing man beating
up a woman as part of children's indoctrination process!*

*Burlington, Ontario*

A young girl who recently managed to gain her freedom from the Halton
Women's Shelter in Burlington, Ontario, has disclosed some bone-
chilling information about just what goes on behind the closed doors
of that facility, something which those operating the shelter would
not like the community to know about.

One of the troubling things that this child revealed was that she and
the other children in the shelter were made to watch a video in which
a man was graphically shown beating up on a woman.

This video was part of a children's program at the shelter and all
children who came to the women's shelter were forced to attend
shortly after their arrival.

The young girl said she and her siblings did not like watching the
violent video and that watching it made them feel very upset and

The young girl also said that it seemed to her that the women who
worked at the shelter did not like men and that everyone at the
shelter was supposed to think the same way as the shelter staff.

It would appear that this program is being used to condition the
children into believing that it is a normal for men to go around
beating up women.

The children were also being told that what was on the video was what
they could expect to happen to them when they get older.

It would seem that the Halton Woman's Shelter has developed its own
in house children's propaganda program, possibly in collaboration
with other shelters, to indoctrinate children at an early age into
believing that men in general are wife batterers and abusers and that
women are always the victims.

It's highly unlikely that the teaching of this program to young and
impressionable children has received the endorsement of early
childhood educators nor is it likely

--- text box --- The ONTARIO TAXPAYER'S REPORT is a periodic report
published by the many volunteers throughout the Ontario network of
the Ontario Citizen's Free Press. It is intended for distribution
without copyright to any individual, group or organization that may
have an interest in the materials contained in this report. All
groups and individuals are encouraged to copy this report and pass it
on to a friend or neighbour. All articles are based on actual events.

This publication is intended to bring to the attention of the public,
abuses of our system and the failure of the government to prevent
such abuses. Many of these abuses often result in the devastation of
children and families in our community at great expense to the
taxpayers. If you have a story to tell then contact the Rev. Dorian
Baxter, National Chairman of the National Association for Public and
Private Accountability (NAPPA) at
416-410-4115 --- end text box ---

that this program for kids in the shelter is being taught by anyone
with professional teaching qualifications who may better understand
what long term emotional harm this sort of video may be causing
children after they leave the shelter.

In all likelihood, this program is being given to the children by
women, who themselves are former victims of abuse and likely harbour
intense feelings of resentment against men in general.

If a child's feelings and perceptions are any indicator of the
environment there, according to this girl, she felt frightened and
afraid staying at the shelter, especially at night. She said she
cried and wanted to go back to see her dad at her own home.

Many parents in the community would argue that only professional
educators, such as teachers with local school boards, should have the
job in the community of educating children about domestic violence.

At least in a more public forum, those that teach such materials
would be under greater public accountability.

Many agree that exposing children to such a video is not appropriate.
Even if children were being removed from a home where violence had
occurred, to expose them immediately again to violence by forcing
them to watch a video of a man beating on a women certainly is not
the most appropriate thing to do under any circumstances.

Children don't want to have violence crammed down their throats,
especially by women whose agenda is to spread hatred towards men.

Being forced to watch these violent videos is nothing less than a
further abuse of the children.

Some of the things disclose by this child included:

* That she and her siblings had been taken into the shelter against
their wishes and that although her mother and father sometimes
fought, she had had never witnessed their father ever physically hurt
her mother when they were at home.

* That she and her siblings hated the shelter and preferred being
with their father.

* That they cried almost every day while in the shelter and only
wanted to get out of that awful place.

* That women in the shelter said bad things about father and that the
children were left with the impression that most of the women did not
like men and that everyone else was expected to feel this way.

* That one day the children witnessed the Halton Regional Police come
to the shelter to physically remove one of the mothers who was being
physically and verbally abusive to staff and patrons in the shelter.

* That they felt afraid when they were in the shelter and only wanted
to get out of there and get back to be with their loving father.

* That the kids had wanted to call their father but that they were
not allowed to do so. When they did try to use the public phone on
their own, they were told not to touch the phone and to ask their
mother for permission to make phone calls.

* That it "smelled like pigs" inside the shelter and that this was

Information from this girl would seem to collaborate previous
information given by a mother, named Helen, who also reported in Feb
of 2000 about her stay at the same Halton Women's Shelter.

Helen, was quoted as saying, "During my six week stay at the shelter,
I met only one other resident who I felt was what most people would
consider a decent mother. The rest of the women definitely had
serious emotional problems. It didn't take any doctor to see that
they were dysfunctional parents. They were terrible mothers who
likely were a significant cause of the problems that landed them
there in the first place. I believe that many of the women were not
physically abused and out of anger wanted a break just like I did. I
was not physically abused"

"Once in the shelter, I felt stuck until I got my own place", said
Helen. Helen also indicated that the system offered no help to mend
problems. Charging the father and then going after him seemed to be
the main goal of the system.

Helen stated that many children at the shelter were being exposed to
an abusive environment and that the shelter was no place for children
to be living in. Some of the things she witnessed were:

* One night, a little girl cried for a long time looking for her
mother. When Helen tried to locate the mother, she found that the
mother had left the shelter to go drinking at a local bar.

* Mothers were staying up late at night without putting their
children to bed at an appropriate time. At night, women could be
heard yelling at their kids.

* Fights by women over donations. The more aggressive women were
first to push their way to the donation room and got what they wanted
while others waited in pecking line.

* Children being hurt while playing because inattentive mothers and
staff were busy doing other things

* One woman at the facility had a drug problem. The mother did not
take care of the baby properly. Half the time the mother left her
child with others expecting them to baby-sit. Eventually, CAS was
called in and the baby taken away from the mother.

* Most of the women and shelter staff used foul language in the
presence of the children.

* Staff and residents spent a lot of time father-bashing and
degrading men in the presence of the children. Helen said that she
thought that it is terrible for children to be exposed to this type
of hate.

* Many of the women could not be bothered to get up, and instead,
they slept while their kids ran around screaming unattended.

Helen described how she felt that shelter staff were very biased
against men. She said that it seemed that all the staff were abused
themselves and told residents of their personal abuse stories. On one
hand it may have been good for other abused people to help you but
that the bias was so deep that it was fostering hate against the
children's fathers.

In closing, Helen stated, "It was a terrible place. Not the
environment where children should be... not even the women."

It's no wonder these shelters have to operate behind a "veil of
secrecy" and hide what goes on there.

-- end of article --

# # #

Walter H. Schneider Fathers for Life

On a personal note, once again I have talked to a woman that spent
time in a women's shelter. She told me she was "TOLD" to "fabricate" dress it up or they could not help her. They told her to
LIE.....and they encouraged her to hate ALL men. no wonder the
stats are messed up.

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