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The hidden half of domestic violence

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Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence Survey

 

Wednesday, July 23 - Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence (Phoenix)
Annual Listening Session. Open session for domestic violence advocates,
service providers, state legislators and concerned citizens. What issues are
important to you? What are solutions to problems that you see? Location:
AzCADV, 100 West Camelback Rd, Suite 109, Phoenix from 5pm-6:30pm. Please RSVP
to Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence Systems Advocate at
1-800-782-6400 or via email to
sa2@a...
 

A copy of this survey can be seen on the

The DesertLight Journal 

 http://www.desertlightjournal.com/AZDV.html
 

MY REPLY

I am the founder of Shattered Men.  I have noticed and filled out your survey but I am very concerned about most of it.  It would appear that it only covers half the problem of domestic violence…Abused  “women”  

 There is enormous evidence that the “95% of all the victims are women is far from fact.  This is taken from unbiased sources which has nothing to gain by their findings.  

 One such source is

 REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY
 

Martin S. Fiebert
Department of Psychology
California State University, Long Beach

  

SUMMARY:  This bibliography examines 138 scholarly investigations: 111 empirical studies and 27 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.  The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 100,000. 

 http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

 Even according to the Department of Justice, in  1998, there were 1,200,000 female victims of domestic and 835,000 male     (I strongly believe that if this was assessed equally, the numbers would be very nearly equal.) 

Since there are few if any services for these men in most areas of this country, this is a direct violation of the 14th amendment of the Constitution which states: 

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

 Another area that needs to be considered is the OOP.  Many of these can be easily obtained by simply stating “I think”  and there need not be any evidence that abuse has or will occur.  Many  men (and perhaps a few women) do lose all they have ever worked for including their children when this happens.  

 I ask you,  how do you feel if someone wrongfully accuses you of something?  Does it not make you angry?   Now what if this accusation would result in your losing your home?  Your kids?    Would it not set up what many would feel is a hopeless situation?   Hopeless people are very desperate people.  Many commit suicide…but more are taking the accuser’s life first.   

 I therefore believe that we can help save the life of many more women if we address the OTHER SIDE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

 Not only is there strong evidence that as many men are battered,  there is evidence that many are legally abused by our family court system.  A former female BAR president in New England stated that if a man is accused of domestic violence, there is little that can be done to help him.   I have no doubt that this is fact.   How often have we seen “back door” convictions by having them go to anger management and “all charges will be dropped” only to establish a “history” thus enabling his wife to have total control by the mere threat of a phone call to 911?   

Now think for a moment,  what if this man is your brother…you uncle…..you son?

 Another major problem is that even if it is proven the charge was an outright lie, little if anything is done to the false accuser even if it has caused tremendous damage.   Perhaps it is time to follow Biblical views on this…the false accuser should take the accused  place.   That is if one accuser a person of a felony knowing they did not do it, they should face a felony themselves.

 Most areas have a must arrest ordinance and it is the man that has to be arrested no matter what.    What would happen if that happened to those who were mugged?   I know of several men that were arrested for domestic violence but if they did not protect themselves, they would literally be dead and I bet that the person that killed them would have claimed abuse and gotten off …of course the only witness would not be able to protect himself would he?

 Child abuse and custody.  

 I notice this survey is trying to make sure no woman has to yield custody to HIS and her children ever.   Do you realize that over 65% of all child abuse is by the mother yet the father gets custody in about 10% of all contested cases?   Is this for the good of the children?  (No dad is not the other 3rd….the rest varies from live in boy friends which is the next highest on the list to others.  Dads do come ahead of grandparents which are the lowest on the list.  

 The real fact is that domestic violence although we hear about it so much is rather rare.  The safest place for women and our children is in an intact home with the natural mother AND father who are married to each other.  Yet we find at the first sing of any problems, women being urged to divorce and leave.  Many are even threatened to do so by CPS or they are told they will  take their children, thus forcing a woman to chose between her husband or their children. 

 Do you realize the damage done to children in fatherless homes?  It is enormously damaging to both our boys and our girls. 

 

Statistics

"Ninety percent of divorced fathers have less than full access to their children." Jonathan M. Honeycutt, Ph.D.(c), M.P.A., M.A., I.P.C. Director of Research, Clinical & Consulting Psychotherapist, National Institute for Divorce Research, Panama City, Florida.

Children from fatherless homes account for:

63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).

71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)

90% of all homeless and runaway children.

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (DOJ, Special Report)

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source:Center for Disease Control).

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26).

71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children).

85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections

The State of Fatherhood

37.9% of fathers have no access/visitation rights. (Source: p.6, col.II, para. 6, lines 4 & 5, Census Bureau P-60, #173, Sept 1991.)

"40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish the ex-spouse." (Source: p. 449, col. II, lines 3-6, (citing Fulton)

Frequency of visitation by Divorced Fathers; Differences in Reports by Fathers and Mothers. Sanford Braver et al, Am. J. of Orthopsychiatry, 1991.) "Overall, approximately 50% of mothers "see no value in the father`s continued contact with his children...." (Source: Surviving the Breakup, Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein, p. 125)

Only 11% of mothers value their husband's input when it comes to handling problems with their kids. Teachers & doctors rated 45%, and close friends & relatives rated %16.(Source: EDK Associates survey of 500 women for Redbook Magazine. Redbook, November 1994, p. 36)

"The former spouse (mother) was the greatest obstacle to having more frequent contact with the children." (Source: Increasing our understanding of fathers who have infrequent contact with their children, James Dudley, Family Relations, Vol. 4, p. 281, July 1991.)

"A clear majority (70%) of fathers felt that they had too little time with=their children." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Mary Ann Kock & Carol Lowery, Journal of Divorce, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 54)

"Very few of the children were satisfied with the amount of contact with their fathers, after divorce." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Koch & Lowery, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 50)

"Feelings of anger towards their former spouses hindered effective involvement on the part of fathers; angry mothers would sometimes sabotage father's efforts to visit their children." (Source: Ahrons and Miller, Am. Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 63. p. 442, July `93.)

"Mothers may prevent visits to retaliate against fathers for problems in their marital or post-marital relationship." (Source: Seltzer, Shaeffer & Charing, Journal of Marriage & the Family, Vol. 51, p. 1015, November 1989.)

In a study: "Visitational Interference - A National Study" by Ms. J Annette Vanini, M.S.W. and Edward Nichols, M.S.W., it was found that 77% of non-custodial fathers are NOT able to "visit" their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. In other words, non-compliance with court ordered visitation is three times the problem of non-compliance with court ordered child support and impacts the children of divorce even more. Originally published Sept. 1992

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/ssewell38/father.htm

  I urge you to reassess this survey to protect ALL our people. 

 It is not time to value ALL our people? 

 

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