The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
The Purpose of Shattered Men
I want to remind each one of the purpose for Shattered Men.
We are here to help heal the wounds of abuse. Although we do and will focus on men, we will not turn anyone away that is seeking help from abuse be it physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual.
I strongly believe Shattered Men has shown many times that we can have abused men and women working together to end ALL abuse. We have seen men and women come here bitter at the other gender but in time, they have learned to reach out to each other. They have learned that everyone is hurt from abuse and they have started to heal together.
We also need to realize that when a family has children in it, any abuse on the parts of the adults will harm the children. Children do learn from their parents and they will often learn a lot if EITHER mom or dad is being abused by the other. If children are present...any abuse from either parent to the other is also child abuse.
This is why Shattered Men does approach BOTH sides.
Shattered Men has also been breaking the traditional mold of abuse by asking all involved to look at their part of abuse. We do ask for personal accountability not to blame...but to find solutions. I believe that is why it works so well. It is not our job to blame, it is our responsibly to help resolve conflicts within our homes. If we make troubled marriages stronger, we will make our next generation ready to handle their problems too
Again, although we are Biblically based...we do not want to be so heavenly minded that we drive off those seeking help from the effects of abuse. We want to GENTLY lead those that do not know the LORD to HIM....and we can not do that if the majority of our post are the same post we find in all of our CHRISTIAN groups.
If a starving person came into a rescue mission, they can not be expected to listen to a 3 hour sermon before being fed. We will not do that in Shattered Men either.
I do ask those that have not yet told us about the effects abuse had on them...to please post it.....THAT my friend...is why we are here!
We do want you to also support each other. If you have overcome the effects of abuse...if you have gone from victim...to over-comer, we want to hear about that too!
From time to time, we need to remind everyone of the propose for Shattered Men. I think it is time for another reminder. I have had to delete about a dozen pending messages in the last couple of days, not because they were not good messages, but because approving all of them all at once would diminish the purpose this ministry exist. Please look at the section Shattered Men is in. It is listed under Yahoo health. It is also listed in the domestic violence section of the health section as as such, we need to have a balance between post that are on subject and those that are purely devotional in nature.
I am also aware that there are some that post these devotionals that never read the board to find out what others are saying or what the needs are. I would love to see each of these at least finding out what the needs are here instead of just posting what they want to say. While I am talking about this, I do want to thank Lee for the messages he post but also for reading what others post and responding to them.
In reminding everyone of the purpose of Shattered Men, I am reposting something my daughter posted on Jan 17 because she said it so well. Although SM is a ministry and that Ken is the founder of it, therefore he is responsible for the subject matter, and chooses those in leadership who will help make decisions. SM of course wants to lead people to Christ who do not know Him. I, for one, do not agree with the doctrines that some do in SM, but I don't let it take me out of SM.
Why? because SM is not a church. A Bible study is o-f-f-e-r-e-d on Sunday nights, and a time of praise and worship is also offered on a fairly regular basis. But it is not a substitute for CHURCH. (It is a help for those who are shut-in and are for physical or emotional reasons unable to attend a church at the time. It is a group that offers a place of support for those who have been abused or those who wish to help those who have been abused. Of course, many at SM already know Christ and know that ultimately Jesus is the answer. A marriage or family may not be reunited, homes may not be restored simply as a result of becoming a Christian, but becoming a Christian will help you endure and/or overcome the trials, the heartaches, the brokenness. Yes, SM wants to have posts and conversations concerning Christ. But no, it does not require every post to be about converting to Christianity, it doesn't mean that every paragraph has to be about God. Sometimes our light shines through even better to those who are in darkness when they observe our lives, our conversations, when they read/hear testimonies about what God has brought us through.
As far as "canned messages" which is what I call copy/pastes that occur consistently, are not what I want to read all the time. I have a wonderful church that I belong to. I hear plenty of wonderful sermons, singing, and teaching. I love it. But in many services, God's Spirit will reach out to the brokenhearted in love. This is what will touch hearts. Yes, God convicts the sinner, but not without letting them know that He offers love and forgiveness. I belong to several Christian groups, and to be honest, some are full of little but copy/past, and many are posted again exactly the same in some of the other groups I am in. I tend to delete these because there is nothing personal in them. SM was formed to reach out and help people who are hurting. The group is listed as a Yahoo Health Group (because abuse is painful, can be debilitating, and those abused need healing and restoration with lots of support). Many who come to SM are not yet saved, but many are already. Some have been rejected by their own church or religion. I myself had to leave my church that I went to faithfully for over 15 yrs because I was not able to get the spiritual help I needed. I wasn't able to find anyone, not even the pastor to be willing to even listen to my concerns about my marriage, family and the abuse that I suffered in childhood and in marriage. So, do you think those rejected by the Church are eager to run to "Church". A true, God-led church will not reject them. But many which call themselves Christian or even a Church are actually hirelings, who are not God-led.
The point I'm trying to get at is that SM is a ministry for those abused. If someone goes to a shelter for the homeless, some will offer church services and try to reach those lost spiritually, but first they will offer them food and shelter. We at SM must be willing to offer an ear to listen to their concerns, and offer them hope, and even some advise at times, even if its our own testimonies, or our stories of what happened to us. It helps to know that we aren't freaks because of what happened to us. It helps to know that there are others who are dealing with the same issues, some of the same hurts and trials. We deal with those going through separation, divorce, custody problems. We deal with those who suffered child abuse, elder abuse, church abuse, in general anyone who has been abused. We have a wonderful group of people from all walks of life with experiences and testimonies that God has enabled us to share with others. SM is also here to minister to needs that may be secular. The issues such as parent alienation syndrome, issues like those who have lost children by death or divorce. If we were going to post each time about God and little else then we would need to change our group category. If we did that many would not come to SM because they are hurt and angry (sometimes angry at God) and they would not want to come here looking for help. It takes wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent.
Thank you Debra. I have seen so much Spiritual growth in you since we first met. I am also proud of my other internet sons and daughters and I always enjoy talking to each of you and seeing you post here and in other groups we may be in together. EACH of you have your own special qualities that make you not only special in my eyes...but far more important...special to our LORD!
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month