The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
Mother's Day 2011
I know that many here in Shattered Men
did not have a good, loving and supportive mother (or father) but I want to
share with you something from God's
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Exodus 20:12
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Ephesisans 6: 1,2
Notice that this is a firm command and it does not give us exceptions such as Obey your parents IF they are good parents. I will say however it does say "in
the Lord" so if we are ordered to do something that is not Biblical or that is sin, we can refuse but we need to do it in a right manor such as Daniel did.
Mothers are not perfect any more than fathers are not perfect but most will sacrifice a lot for their children. Many go without things they want or even
need to provide for their children and often give them more than the children deserve. In most families, mothers are on the front lines more often than are
fathers because in many homes, they are stay at home moms but please remember that fathers do not do any less nor do they care less simply because they are
not there nearly as much time as moms are. Many fathers would love to have more time with their children but they are working to provide for them and that is
equally as important.
Both my parents are gone now and I would love to have a few moments to tell them things I never did, things like how much I appreciate what they did do for me.
No mothers are not perfect but please if your mom is still here, let her know how much you love her (and if you do not, pray for them and for GOD to give you
the love you need for them) Something from your heart will mean far more than any card you can give. I can assure you of this as one of the members of SM
told me of a card she got from her daughter as it meant more than anything for her to read what she wrote, about her being her daughters rock and defender. (I
pray that our real ROCK and DEFENDER would be in her daughters life too) If you are at odds with your mom, make amends today even if it is not your fault. Remember, the command to honor our father and our mother is an UNCONDITIONAL COMMAND. We are told to do it period!
MOMS: Be you a traditional mother who is married to the father of your children, or a single mom for whatever reason. you are important to your
children but please teach your children who should be the most important person in their life..and do it by showing them who the most important person is to
Please remember also that the 2nd most important person in your life should not be your child or children, it is their FATHER. (Just as a child's mother
should be the 2nd most important person in a man's life) The best thing you can do for your children is to love and respect their father other than to love
the LORD and let your children know it. (Men need to love their children's mother and cherish her) Moms, if you treat dad like a king, he will in turn treat you
like his queen.
If you are a divorced mom, do not show disrespect to their father in front of them and as much as possible. be you a divorced mother or father, let the
children spend time with the other parent. I firmly support equal parenting if at all possible)
Oh I know many of the parents who do not have custody do not want to spend time with their children, but use this for teaching your children how to deal with
this....pray with them often that GOD would change his or her heart to want to be a parent to their children too. Proverbs 21:1 The king's heart is in the
hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will
Single moms. you are just as precious as tradition moms in traditional homes and are in fact more important if you are not married to your child's father. You
should seek someone to be a father figure to them and the best place to find one is in a good Bible believing church. No, this does not mean seeking a husband
just so the kids can have a father. That is a step that should be taken with much prayer and together as man, woman and children as they need a part in it
too. It is important for them to accept the new person as they will be their step mom or dad. If they have a part in it, there will more likely be acceptance
on each one's part.
Some of you may not even know who your child's father is but you are still their mother. What should you do to help your children the best way possible? First
of all, if you do not know the LORD, please read this and place your trust in Jesus.
If you already know you are forgiven, and have not done so yet, let your children know before they start dating that you made a mistake and that you
actually sinned against GOD and against them by not being married before having intimate relations thus giving birth to them without a father being present in
their life but that you also have asked GOD to forgive them and then ask them to forgive you too. Let them know that GOD will be a father to the fatherless and
HE will comfort them.
MEN., if there is a possibility that you have a child out there that you do not know about and are presently in a family, please let your children know and
especially your sons when they start dating that it is very important to WAIT until they are married before having intimate relations with a girl. Not only is
it far more dangerous as they could easily be accused of rape, even if they did nothing or they could become a father before they are ready or they could get an
incurable and possibly fatal disease. (Your daughters need to know this part too)
Personally, I would be horrified to have a child that I could not personally help bring up and to teach values they may never learn from anyone else) That
is also one reason why I would never no matter how much they paid me, be a sperm donor and father a child I would never have contact with because I feel firmly that I would be responsible for that Childs eternal destiny and I can NOT think of anything that would bother me as much as knowing a child I helped conceived would spend an eternity without the LORD because I was not there to help guide that child.
As I said, I am not going to tell you that Moms walk on water as many will hear in church today, but I am hoping to tell you how to to be a Godly mother. I
doubt if anyone does it better than Nancy Lee Demoss
Tell me if this happens at your house.
You circle Mother's Day on your husband's calendar with red ink. You leave a note with the URL for your favorite florist on the bathroom sink, along with the
number for rush deliveries just in case. You tell your children for weeks that Mother's Day is "mommy's special day" and have them rehearse the name of your
favorite restaurant so they can drop hints to daddy.
Then Mother's Day comes. You still have to make breakfast. The kids don't dress themselves. Your flowers don't arrive and your husband takes the family through the drive-thru on your way home from church. The result—you spend the day stewing, and your family is miserable.
Maybe that's not how it works for you. Maybe you are one of the few who is celebrated exactly how you want to be each Mother's Day. But for most, this
holiday can often be a major disappointment.
And you know what? Our husband and kids aren't to blame.
Thinking we're the center of the universe, even if it's only for a day, misses a major point—namely that we are not the center of the universe. We are a part of
a family, an important part, yes, but not so important that we've earned the right to demand adoration, affection, and a one-day Get Out of Jail Free card.
Here are some biblical truths that many of us (yes, even I) need to be reminded of as Mother's Day approaches:
We are called to be humble.
Matthew 23:12 doesn't leave much room for tooting our own horn, or demanding that our family toot it. It says, "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and
whoever humbles himself will be exalted."
Our role as a mother is not a burden, but a gift!
Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward." If you are blessed enough to have children, your gift has
already been delivered!
Remember Whom you serve.
I know that your kids probably don't send thank-you notes very often, and your husband doesn't always notice all the things you do to keep the plates spinning.
But, the truth is, your husband and kids aren't who you work for. Only when you are working to please your Creator will you find yourself fulfilled.
Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."
Service is our calling.
In John 13:12-14 we read, "When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, `Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.'"
Serving your family is an important job. It is a way to demonstrate Christ to them and to the outside world, where families are crumbling because they don't
know how to serve each other. Psalm 100:2 urges us to "serve the Lord with gladness." Losing sight of this mission, even for a day, won't make for a happy
heart or a happy family.
. . . If you still feel like you can't go on without a thank you this Mother's Day, may I sincerely thank you? Thanks for being a great mom. Thanks for doing
the heavy lifting required to teach your kids about Jesus, and parenting according to God's plan even when it's countercultural. Thanks for modeling
service every day of every year, even when you don't feel like it. And this Mother's Day, thanks for finding practical ways to live like it's not about you
so that the people around you know it's all about Him.
(DADS, this applies to US too!)
We do appreciate mothers. Often we just do not show it enough but we also need to learn to let all of those around us know that they are very important
especially to a loving GOD that so wanted a relationship with them that HE allowed HIS very own SON to give HIS Live so that we too...may live!
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month