Shat terd


The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life


Many of those who have suffered or are suffering abuse have great
difficulty in many areas of their life. These difficulties if not
dealt with swiftly and properly will become strong
holds...strongholds such as
ANGER which leads to even more powerful
strongholds of Bitterness, hate and revenge.

Swimming in the moats of these strongholds are self
depression and defeat. We build huge fortified walls which not only
keep everyone that would or could care for us out but they keep us a
prisoner within our own walls. As we build these walls higher, we
also have to build them thicker thus entombing ourselves in smaller
and smaller cells.

Others may not see these fortified walls upon first glance, but they
soon realize they are there. Often as they attempt to approach us we
will throw the darts of rejection to them to push them away before
they have a chance to reject us. (1) Most will not try a 2nd or 3rd

Often when entombing ourselves in these fortified walls, we will
ask...Where was GOD? We go on further by asking...Why doesn't GOD
heal me if HE loves me so much?

In the next few moments, we will explore these strongholds and we
will learn how to destroy them so we can...LET IT GO!


Strongholds are actually a figment of our imagination. There is no
mortar, stone and steel keeping us in. It is all in our thoughts.
We think we are captive so we act like we are captive. Elephants are
often chained with heavy chains when they are small. As adults, they
only have thin chains that would snap like a cheap string of beads
but they do not try/ They are only held captive by their own
thoughts that they can not break the chain.

The chains that hold us are our own thoughts. Often our goal is to
make ourselves happy. We will always try to act in ways we think
achieve our goals. IF we want happiness and we thing "wine, women (or
men) and song will bring this happiness..well we go looking in bars
and discos to act on this goal.   This is one reason for the proliferation of things like pornography, sexual addiction, alcoholism, and drug abuse.  With the internet, women  have caught up to men with the addiction to pornography.  They can view it in the safety of their own homes without anyone finding out.  Many men and women have chats with those of the opposite or even same gender that are of a very explicit sexual nature. The walls go higher each time a new page is opened. is not just the "lost: that do this.  Many real Christian men and women are hooked.  It is interesting that satan often tells one...hey you have to look at this just this once so you know how "bad" it is.  My it ONCE...and you are on your way to an addiction.  Often these images are forced on us by e-mail and profiles.  When it is force, it will be easier to overcome..but I assure you..that once you willfully click on that link you know is not ARE on your way to a stronghold.  Yea..satan will tempt you to "just look" even giving you good reasons to do so..but then...the accuser of our soul will then say..."You must not "really" be a Christian because a REAL Christian would never go there. 

The use of alcohol and drugs has spread amongst HIS people too. We are told the burden is too heavy to bear so take that "Valium" (or Ativan or a drink)  just this time to take the edge off.  We fail to remember that GOD has promised never to give us more then we can bear.  We fail to REST  in HIS Grace!

We also fail to realize that GOD will supply our every need so that when we feel we will not get money to pay  for next months rent, we use the little we have left to run off and buy lottery tickets.   This is often after we buy things we do not need before paying our bills or buying food.  Sure, I think it is ok to splurge once in a while..but for example, I know someone that could not afford a car payment or rent, yet they bought a pets that were worth several thousands of dollars.   When this money is not replaced,  a stronghold is built..that God does not meet their need.  However, I do need to say that just because someone is going through some very rough times..that does NOT mean they are guilty of what I said above.  Please let us all avoid judging those in need so we do not build our own strongholds of doubt and improper judgment.

Sound familiar?  Do NOT listen my friend.  Read on for the solution.


satan tries to keep one from trusting God to start.  If he fails at this, his next task is to keep them from growing..from maturing in the LORD so they will not be effective in showing others their need for a savior.  satan also gets us to doubt our salvation by telling us we need to work to keep it. We fail to realize the difference between Christianity and religion.  Religion tells us to "DO"  Christianity says.."DONE".   Once we trust Christ for salvation, HE said "It is FINISHED"  It is a done deal.  HE paid it all...all to HIM I owe. 

Of course, the results are higher and thicker walls.  We have built a stronghold that nothing can break down...or so we think.  We keep others out and ourselves in so that we become ineffective for the LORD.  One reason for that satan knows it is the ONLY way he can hurt GOD.  This is done by making them build strongholds..and yes..satan does not build them....WE do.



We need to remember that God has promised that HE will be just.  One problem when we seek justice, is that when we "get even" for a wrong that was or we think was done to us, that person then has to get even for that.  We escalate each time and we have even seen wars start by this very thing.  When GOD gets STOPS there.  Too often we think that if we do not do it, the Love of God will prevent them from getting "what they deserve"   Is this true?  Look at:

Deuteronomy 32:35
To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.

We need to also remember that God is not a respecter of persons.  The Bible tells us that GODS the world and that there is not one person that is beyond HIS redemption.  This alone would have destroyed one of my strongholds before the first brick was laid if I had accepted this fact.  As you can see from my testimony in ken's story, I had thought that GOD hated men.  After writing this, I have found several women that felt just the opposite.  Anyone else smell a rat here?  (no offense intended to rats)  If we stop to think, both of us could not possibly be right. This brings up another point....changing the way we think....


We are told in  Proverbs 23:7  For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:  As mentioned above, when we think we are unable to do something, we will fail.  This is why praise is so important to give our children.  There is real Power in praise.  We need to change the way we think that will bring us Joy and satisfaction.  We need to learn who we are in Christ and to realize there is nothing we can do to make God love us more..or less.  HE will love us and He will meet our needs because of WHO we are in HIM...not for anything else.  We are HIS kids....once we have accepted to be adapted into the family of God by trusting Jesus for salvation.  Salvation then is the First Step toward a better relationship...with God...or anyone else. 

One thing I have found that often helps us to change the way we to expose these strongholds to others.  It was by exposing my strongholds that I found it was based on wrong ideas.  When I compared notes with women who felt God hated women, we could both understand we were lied to....and both of our strongholds were torn down.  Yet so often, satan will tell us that if we tell anyone about it...they will not like us anymore.  I will admit, there are some that do not know how to love unconditionally that may well reject you, but if you find a mature Christian, this should not happen.  Christian groups are a good place to start.  You have the safety of the internet and the anonymity of a screen name.  There are some great groups but of course I am partial to Shattered Men Anchor Cove. as   I know these groups will accept people unconditional as both have had people come to destroy them, but are now  serving the LORD.  My Angle Eyes is another that shows this love for all.  For good Christian fellowship and/or prayer,  I would recommend any of groups in the Internet Alliance for Christ  and of course the group that you may be reading this in right now. 


Forgiveness is not an option.  It is not done for the offenders sake, it is done to release the one that forgives.  As we started out, when we do not forgive, we set the state for some of the most powerful and damaging strongholds we could have.  Since we already have an extensive message on forgiveness, let me just link you to that is called THE NEED FOR FORGIVENESS


 1 Peter 4    And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.  When we develop real love, many strongholds melt before our eyes. More important, when we learn to really love the LORD, we will   Once again, to shorten a message I know is already to long, we have addressed this in a message called LOVE and Love Worth Finding


Jesus told us in Matthew 11
28   Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29   Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30   For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

He went further in John 10
10   The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

My friend, there HAS to be something better then the average Christian has right now.  Oh, they do have it, but they have a stronghold around them that prevents them from knowing it.  Most do not realize our position IN Christ and thus they feel they have to work to earn God's favor. We ARE HIS children if we have trusted Christ and our position can not change.  He will not abandon us.  We have a promise of Chastisement so we know we will not be thrown out of HIS family.  We can also see this in the message called Eternal Life!  Eternal Or Temporary?

One thing we can do right now other then the above, is to ask God to show us what needs to be exposed to Gods Word.  We can do this by praying the EFFECTIVE PRAYER FOR HURTING PEOPLE

My next post will be on GRACE so I will conclude this message with this song:

Be Still My Soul

Be still my soul Be still my soul
Cease from the labor and the toil
Refreshing stream of peace await
To trouble minds and hearts that ache

Be Still my soul God knows your way
And HE will guide....for HIS name's sake

Plunge in the Rivers of HIS Grace
Rest in the arms....of HIS embrace

Be still my soul, be still my soul
Though battles round you rage and toil
continually and nothing more
to hear the whisper of the LORD

Be still my child I know your way
and I will guide for My name's sake

Plunge in the Rivers of HIS Grace
Rest in the arms....of HIS embrace

Please note that if you are reading this in most groups, there are many hot links included in this message which takes you to a more detailed message on that subject.  You can access these as hot links on the web page this message is posted on here:  so  my last words are:


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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month

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