The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
The Jezebel Within
"If he hits you once, he will hit you again!" Oprah
It seems like
everyone had to have a sound bite shortly after the incident between Chris Brown
and Rihanna. Oprah was no exception and if we heard her state:
"if he hits her once, he will hit you again" once, we heard it
a hundred times. Although we have
learned to expect this from the domestic violence industry, most Christian
ministries that focus on domestic abuse unfortunately parrot it.
Few of these Christian ministries will even admit that women too can be
abusive thus totally ignoring Proverbs 21:9. 21:19 and 25:24, each of which
talks about violent women.(1)
In echoing this
"once an abuser, always an abuser mentality that is propagated by the abuse
industry, the same people who proudly state they use Christian principals to
help abused women also in reality….deny the power of GOD!
It is not just the ministries that focus on abuse that do this, as it
also includes churches, Christian
radio stations magazines
and well-known program. (2)
Even on a secular level, the statement: "if he hits you once…." is not true.
A study done at the University of New Hampshire by Dr. Murray Straus examined the inevitability of repeat domestic violence. In a group of husbands identified as using severe violence repeatedly toward their wives in a national survey, one year later follow-ups revealed that 57% were still using severe violence, 33% were non-violent, and 10% had reduced their violence to a minor level. These men, however, had changed their behavior on their own. If men seek cognitive-behavioral treatment and complete it, one in five repeats the violence. It is simply not true that everyone who is violent once will repeat.
As for the claim that threats of homicide lead to homicide, the evidence again says something else. In a national study of adults in the age group of Chris Brown, credible threats to kill were made by males at 500 times the homicide rate, and by females at 2000 times the actual homicide rate.
Even the statement above by Dr. Straus only addresses one side of the problem. It appeared to only study abusive men however, I do know that Dr Straus does acknowledge that abuse is essentially equal among men and women as many unbiased reports and research shows women are as violent and often more violent then men. (3)
The purpose of this message is not to discuss the secular aspect of domestic abuse as we realize the gender feminist have a strangle hold on this by means of the Violence Against Women Act which only they were allowed to give input to while excluding any that would disagree with them. (4) Our purpose is to show that any Christian ministry that holds to this statement is actually denying the power of the Living God! Let me give some scripture that shows this beyond all doubt:
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
The above verse is the reason we firmly believe that the only real solution to any abuse is a right relationship with Jesus Christ. There is a link to it on every page of the Shattered Men website and many are adding a link to it on their own websites. (If you have a website or blog, you are welcomed to link to it also) Even though secular sources such as is cited above show that people could change, these changes are from the outside. A change from the inside out is absolutely essential as we can see from 1 Corinthians 6:9-12:
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God ? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God . And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
grandfather used to drink like a fish. He was a mean abusive drunk and
I can never remember a time in which he was not drunk while I was growing
up…that is until he met a man named…JESUS!
From the moment my grandfather accepted HIS mercy and grace, he never
touched another drop of alcohol. My
friend, I know many others that GOD changed instantly so I do not buy for a
moment that "if he hits you once, he will hit you again" and ANY
Christian ministry that says otherwise is …well lets call it like it is…they
are trampling on the Blood of Jesus Christ and they are declaring that HIS blood
is not able to cleanse ALL sin.
It is not
surprising that most of these ministries do this.
I have checked dozens if not hundreds of Christian websites and few have
a link to the most important message we can give to anyone….how
to have eternal life. (5) I have found very few of these sites that had the
plan of salvation anywhere to be found on their websites. I do have to give
credit to one site that did at least add it when I did bring it to their
attention. None of the others did.
Most of the
Christian sites on domestic abuse have only the traditional worldly
remedy…divorce. It is NOT
Biblical PERIOD! Most of these same
ministries will not hold women accountable for any of their actions while they
blame men for all of the problems within the marriage.
One large televised church in Dallas told their men that if they were
living away from home "to suck it up and go back home” One major problem,
If they did, their next address would be the county jail for violating a
restraining order that many if not most of them did not deserve.
I have talked
to Christian marriage counselors with PhD's that have accepted the Spirit of
Jezebel in that they have stated they do not teach women to be submissive to her
husband because too many "misunderstand it” Well folks… I do not
understand GOD's mercy but I certainly do not want to throw that out because I
do not understand it! When one does
not correctly understand what the Word of God says, we need to educate them
instead of excusing sinful behavior. For
one, we need to teach that submission has to be offered, it can not be demanded
just as GOD wants us to submit to Him willingly (for now) There will however be
a day when every knee will bow and every mouth will declare that Jesus is Lord.(6)
The spirit of
Jezebel pervades our society. (7) The
Jezebel spirit is born of witchcraft and rebellion. This demon is one of the
most common spirits in operation today, both in the church and in the world, and
it is a powerful enemy of the body of Christ. She operates freely on sincere
believers whose hearts are for God individually, and has also attained positions of power as powers and principalities within the Church. This spirit establishes its stronghold primarily in women; however, many men have been victimized by it as well, where it functions as a "controlling" spirit
churches are becoming feminized,
and that is turning men off in droves, says the director of the National
Coalition of Men's Ministries. ...Men often are criticized in church, but not
helped, Erickson said. Pastors point out the inadequacies of fathers, but
"these men already realize they are bad fathers," he said. "Let's
provide training and equipping." The average church is not relevant to men,
and is "answering questions they are not asking."
We have shown
the problem that has overwhelmed our society.
Although from Biblical prophecy I doubt we can do anything to change the
world at this time, I do contend we have to try.
Most important, we can change those who are reading this.
Although we pointed out that many men are told to be co-submissive which
is very unscriptural as we have shown, others are told to “take control” of
their homes. They are not
told how to do this. In homes where
this evil sprite has taken control, if a man were to “take control” no
matter how they do so, they could and often are accused of abuse.
Please remember that by “take control” I mean that he becomes the
head of the home and leads his home as Christ leads the church.
One reason for this is that they use the Faulty Duluth
Model as proof of abuse. The
link given below will show why this model is faulty. (9) By use of the Duluth
model, even Christian ministries on abuse accept the Jezebel spirit.
We have shown that it has invaded every aspect of our society.
It is this spirit that allows the murder of our most venerable people,
the yet to be born (10) and
it is the reason many fathers do not have a relationship with their children (11)
but this only shows the problems. Now we need to talk about the solution
can only be found at the foot of the cross! It is the only real solution.
First of all, if you do not have a right relationship with the Lord, the
first step is to establish this relationship by using this link:
If you have done this and you now realizes that you have allowed this
spirit of Jezebel to have control the solution is to repent and ask the Lord to
forgive you of your sin and then to rebuke any evil spirit that may have taken
control of your life. Then you need to seek consol from mature Christians
but be careful in which you chose as this spirit has also invaded many Christian
Counselor ministries (I would suggest joining Shattered
Men (12) as a way to get help for this)
(please click above to vote for this site)
JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month