The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
When I Grow Up!
When I grow up...how often have we
heard a child say this? When I
grow up I want to be a fireman. Or when I grow up I want to be a
nurse, a doctor, but most often, we hear, "when I grow up I want to
be just like my dad, or just like my mom.
When I grow up!
We are always interested in what a child will say after this. Most
often, we are proud when our child tells us they want to be just like
us when they grow up but sometimes.....sometimes.....
I am sitting her once again, writing another "from my heart to yours"
message. Often it starts out to be a message of gloom and despair
but if those who are reading it that GOD intends to reach, heeds it
and reacts as God want them to, it will be a message of gloom...but
You see, in working in this ministry, I have "adopted" several as my
son or daughter to show them what a dad should be like, yet I know I
have failed as a dad too often to my own children. I have often seen
more "success" with my internet kids then I have with my own. Why?
I personally do not measure success as what my kids DO for a living
or how many possessions they gain. I do not deem it success if they
become a doctor of a lawyer but I count success as what have then
What does it matter if we should gain the whole world, but lose our
soul? What does it matter how much we have given our children...if
we do not give them...JESUS?
When I Grow Up....! This can bring joy...or it can bring great
pain. We can have this reaction when we hear a child tell us they
want to be just like dad, or just like mom if we know the values
that parent has instilled in that child. We have seen 2nd, 3rd and
even 4th generation welfare children that we know are going to grow
up to be just like their parents. I have heard kids tell me they
plan to be on welfare when they grow up. I have seen fathers that
if I know their kids will grow up just like them that it would
horrify me. I have seen girls that would cause panic if they plan to
grow up just like mom.
Folks, these "from my heart to yours" messages are not easy to
write. Most are written in tears…but I am also reminded that those
who sow in tears shall reap in joy. If this message reaches even one
person and helps them to seek GOD's face to change their ways, they
were worth it. If one less child is abused because of this message,
it was worth it. If a child and his/her parents have a relationship
repaired, it was worth it.
You may ask what prompted this message to be written. Well tonight,
my daughter Joann wrote a poem that included this:
Mommy look at the rose i picked for you.
I hope you come back home real soon.
I did real good at school today.
And i want you to be proud of me and pray
I cried dear Jesus give me one wish.
That mom would hug me and give a kiss.
pick me up and hold me tight
Lois, one of the moderators in Shattered Men who has adopted her as a
mom wrote one back to her which included:
Mom you seem so far away.
I think you don't care.
My little heart cries
My heart is scared.
When I grow up!
My friend, take a long look in a mirror today and ask
yourselves: "do I want my son or daughter to grow up to be just like
me?" If not, I have some bad news for you my friend. The apple does
not fall far from the tree. What does this mean? It means that our
children WILL be very much like us when they grow up. What values
are you instilling in that precious child?
DADS…it is OUR job…my job and YOUR job to teach our children about
And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them
the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do.
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt
talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest
by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Dads, are you telling your children about JESUS? It is the most
important thing you can teach your children and you are going to be
held responsible for it.
MOMS….you are not off the hook because the Bible tells men that they
will be held responsible for doing the above. Contrary to popular
believe, love does not come natural for women
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as
becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine,
teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to
be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be
discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Do you realize that one reason that many men do not follow their
responsibility to teach their children is because mom will not let
them? According to a Redbook survey only 11% of mother's value their
husband's input when it comes to handling problems with the
children. Close friends ranked above fathers at 16%. No wonder many
fathers stop trying. No it should not be an excuse but it is reality
When I grow up!
Let's revise that statement…when they grow up. When your child grows
up…do you want them to be just like you? They will you know. If you
abuse your husband or wife, they will most likely gown up to be an
abuser too...or they will find someone just like you who will abuse
them. Do you really want that? If you are irresponsible, fail to do
what is needed to be done, they will grow up like that too.
My friend, are you teaching your child a work ethic? To be a
responsible citizen that will pull their own weight or are you
teaching them that society owes them a living on a silver platter?
Are you teaching them that anything that goes wrong in their live is
always someone else's fault or are you teaching them that they are
responsible for their own actions?
The big question…when they grow up….will they be JUST LIKE YOU???
My friend, once again the chances are …they WILL.
Are you a Christian? Chances are they will be too. If you are not…
you may be willing to gamble your soul on their not being a heaven or
hell..but are you willing to gamble THEIRS?
If you are not a Christian…if you do not know for sure that YOU have
eternal life…you will not be able to instill this most important
value to your children..but you can change it in the next few
The First Step to Better Relationship is this:
Most important, if you follow this and accept Christ and then grow
in HIM…and become like HIM….your child will GROW UP TO BE….LIKE
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month