The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
Hi my name is Gine. I was born in Canada and now live in the US. I am 25 years old. My father is French-Canadian and my mom is American. I have one younger sister.
My parents met in Niagara Falls. Both were members of Worldwide Church of God and were on the Feast of Trumpets. I grew up believing in God, but it was also rammed down our throats by my father. Worldwide taught that no one knows they are saved till they die. You don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. So I never knew of this great truth growing up. Many of my relatives and parents still believe this. No one goes to Worldwide anymore, but they still go by those ways.
Home life was very rocky. Things were bad between my parents. There was mental, emotional and physical abuse. When I was 20 months old I witnessed my father strangle my mom (she was pregnant with my sister). There was emotional abuse towards us kids also. All my life I've been told that my opinions and how I feel don't matter. I was always told to stop crying by my mom. My sister was very controlling as well, and always made sure she got her way. When I was Kindergarten, birthdays were not allowed to be celebrated. So therefore I was not allowed to go to birthday parties and was shunned by the other students all through elementary school. Had no friends. It was different for my sister. When she got to start school, birthdays were allowed again, so it was different for her. I was scratched and pinched by her so many times. Always started fights. I remember one time I thaught about running away, cause I couldn't take my sister anymore.
My mother wanted a divorce. My father said he would change but didn't. When my mom filed for divorce, my father tried to kill himself with 2 and 1/2 bottles of aspirin. He did this in front of us. My mom took us to a neighbour's and called the ambulance. He was in the psychiatric ward 11 times in the span of 3 years. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia and other mental problems, and may have had them for years before. He used to have temper tantrums and yank the hair out of his head. Sometimes I have found that I will hit myself when I get angry and it scares me. The divorce had made me falsely happy at first as life had been difficult with my father, but then things sank in and I fell into a severe depression. Thoughts that everything was my fault, thoughts of suicide.
All through high school I saw a guidance counselor. I couldn't cope with anything. All I wanted to do was cry and sleep. In grade 7 during Moral and Religious Education, I started to cry as they were discussing divorce. Because of that, the School Board started a support group for students of divorced parents. This really helped, but the school only kept the program for a year. In grade 10 (age 16) I had to change my guidance counselour, as the previous one had to start teaching. My new counselour was Andrea. She was a christian. She would help me so much. In March 1993, she took me to see a play called 'Ain't Life A Circus'. It was about how life can throw you a loop, and be extremly hard, but Jesus is there and He is your true hope, joy and peace. On Easter day 1993, I started going to church. I gave my life to Jesus Christ on May 16, 1993. He is now my Lord and Saviour. He is so good, so wonderful, so amazing.
In September 1993, I was baptized by sprinkling at the Anglican church I was attending. Being newly saved I did not know any better at the time. God convicted my heart, that that was wrong, that I need to baptized by immersion. And I was on April 16, 1996 at Westview Bible Church in Pierrefonds, Quebec.
In August 1996, we moved to Upstate New York. My mom wanted to come home. With the divorce we could not leave Montreal, Quebec until my sister was 18.
I still go thru problems, depression, lonliness, isolation, but now I know that God is there with me, He was even there when I didn't know Him. If someone belittles me or tells me that I don't matter, I sometimes shut down, withdraw into myself and don't let it out. I am too quiet and shy, but God is helping me thru it day by day.
Praise be to the Lord. Jesus Christ is the KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS. MY LORD AND SAVIOUR, THE PRINCE OF PEACE.
My favorite thing to say: SMILE GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I!!!!! SOURIEZ DIEU VOUS AIMES ET MOI AUSSI!!!!!
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month