The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
"The Top 10 Things Custodial Parents Do To Destroy The Noncustodial Parent/Child Relationship"
A RANT by T. Michael Zizza
********************************************** Without a doubt, this Top 10 list barely scratches the surface in regard to how Custodial Parents work to destroy the Noncustodial Parent/Child relationship. And most certainly there could be many top 10's, top 100's, what have you. However, despite similarities every situation is different. Ultimately, tyranny flourishes with silence.
10. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT ALLOW THE CHILD TO RECEIVE LETTERS AND GIFTS FROM THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT IN THE MAIL. The best thing to do is send everything priority mail with a tracking number. There is proof that the post office attempted to deliver it. If delivered, you will know what time. If the post office tries to deliver it but the mail goes back to the post office, you will receive acknowledgement that the mail was unclaimed.
9. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT ALLOW THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT TO CALL THEIR CHILD ON THE TELEPHONE. The Noncustodial Parent needs to get a letter in writing from the Custodial Parent that they are not to call the child. Often, the Custodial Parent will bellyache they are verbaly abused on the telephone by the Noncustodial Parent, blanking out all the while that the best thing to do is just give the telephone to the child and shut up.
8. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT ALLOW THE CHILD TO INTERACT WITH THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT VIA EMAIL. Hands down, email is one of the easiest ways to communicate. For the Custodial Parent to not allow this contact between the Child and Noncustodial Parent is mind numbing. Email Greeting cards are wonderful to send and receive, but often the Noncustodial Parent will send one a day to the child for months...and receive nothing. What a disgrace if the child in question is of course able to operate a computer.
7. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT IS UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT. When the Custodial Parent wants the Noncustodial Parent out of the picture, the Custodial Parent will make it seem like they are the victim of verbal abuse and hysterics from the Noncustodial Parent. This is an attempt to relieve themselves of being rational and seeing that if you try to destroy a Noncustodial Parent/Child relationship, you might face opposition.
6. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT IS HYPERACTIVE WITH CONCERNS FOR THE CHILD. In our overprotective, politically correct, hypersensitive society, all the Custodial Parent has to do is alert the right individuals they have "concerns" for the child. Then, they look like a hero and the Noncustodial Parent looks like the louse. The Custodial Parent builds a wall around the child with the mindset: "I'm the most concerned parent."
5. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT PLACES THE CHILD IN THERAPY WHICH IS ADMINISTERED THROUGH MANAGED CARE INSURANCE. The Noncustodial Parent has virtually no say so, no input into the child's therapy sessions. The Custodial Parents carries the managed care insurance and it is very restrictive. The Noncustodial Parent cannot meet one on one with a therapist even if they pay for the session because the child is given a limited amount of sessions. And the Custodial Parent can veto a session being used for the purpose of the Noncustodial Parent actually meeting the therapist. Whoever places the child in therapy first---wins.
4. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT REFUSES TO MEET AT A NEUTRAL PLACE FOR PICK UP/DROP OFF OF THE CHILD. Many parents who cannot get along meet at a neutral place--for the best interest of the child. Even though they can't get along, they think of the child first. These are rational parents who might be at odds. An irrational Custodial Parent will not only refuse to meet at a neutral place but will force the Noncustodial Parent to pick up/drop off the child with the possibililty of being videotaped by others. Furthermore, the Custodial Parent would rather see the Noncustodial Parent use the services of a police officer for pick up/drop off of the child, rather than meet at a public neutral place close by.
3. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT INTERFERES WITH PARENTING TIME, INCLUDING SUMMER TIME. The Custodial Parent suffers from either a smothering parenting disorder or a separation anxiety when they interfere with the time allotted between Noncustodial Parent and the Child. The Noncustodial Parent and the Child are put through a plethora of hoops all designed to make their time together impossible to enjoy or to even facilitate.
2. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT HIRES AN ATTORNEY WHEN ATTORNEYS ARE NOT NEEDED. It was Warren Farrell who said in so many words that attorneys are for people who fail to communicate. Often, the Noncustodial Parent will beg and plead with the Custodial Parent to be with the Child, but the Custodial Parent will play like Super Parent, hire an attorney and murder the Noncustodial Parent/Child relationship. The majority of Noncustodial Parents cannot afford an attorney, so the Custodial Parents who themselves refuse to communicate, play the attorney card---and win.
1. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT INFLICTS THE CHILD WITH PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME. The Custodial Parent crosses a very fine line when inflicting the Child with PAS. The Noncustodial Parent is continually called bad, no good, has an awful past, etc, etc. PAS destroys the Child because the Child is led to believe they only have one good parent, only one good family. The child slowly over time listens to their other biological parent being driven out of their lives. PAS flourishes when the Noncustodial Parent/Child relationship is not enforced, encouraged or desired.
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month