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The hidden half of domestic violence


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Domestic Violence and Murder

The Early Show on CBS had a segment on a new women's shelter created
after a police chief murdered his wife and then took his own life.
I am not sure of the actual situation in this case, but I do know
many of these happen when one is falsely accused and are about to
lose all they have. I sent this to the Early Show. (there is
a "contact us" at the bottom of their web site:

I just saw your segment on domestic violence. Most all of what I see
in the media is one sided. There are over 2,000 shelters for women
in the United States and every state has laws to protect women.
There are only three shelters that will help men who are abused and
none of them can accept his children, yet men are abused at an equal
rate as are women. Even according to the Department of Justice, 39%
are men and that is with many men being arrested when they are the
victims. This of course would throw off any demographics so that is
why I believe the real rate is equal.
Many wanted to get Congress to change the Violence Against Women Act
to a Domestic Violence Act which would give equal protection to both
men and women and would hold each equally accountable for their own
actions. Many groups which state they want equal rights for women
were violently opposed to this showing they do not want equality,
they want superiority. To look at only one side of this issue
before passing these types of laws is like asking the KKK to write
Racial Relationship laws.
I contend that the VAWA is more about money then about real abuse.
When we reward someone for being abused, we will find many
more "victims" We are told many myths regarding domestic violence
such as more women go to the emergency room for domestic violence
then for rapes muggings and auto accidents combined. In reality,
more go for dog bites then for domestic violence.
The real rate of domestic violence is far far less then the numbers
these "advocates" state it is. Women and children are safest in
intact homes when they are married.
Why not get input from all sides? I also ask that why did the media
stop asking those that may oppose a viewpoint for their side of the

We have written about murder/suicides. I firmly believe many of
these are due to false accusations for which these men know they
will lose everything they had including their children with out due
process of law

I also believe that a police officer would know the deck is stacked
against him although I am not saying this was the situation in this

Unless we look at both sides, more women will be harmed as well as
more men. Is it not time to Value ALL our people? Is it not time to
hold each adult responsible and accountable for their own actions
instead of allowing them to say someone made them do it?

A follow up on my message to you regarding Tacoma Tragedy Brings Hope For Others

You state: Last month their tireless efforts paid off. Congress passed legislation to increase police funding for domestic violence programs. 

Can you tell me how this is different then the billion dollars a year we have been spending for the last ten years to protect half the victims of violence while arresting the other half?

Accusations of abuse are common in a pending divorce and it is not hard to find a friend to go along with these accusations. There are NO reports of domestic violence at all in his court files...NOTHING even though a searched back to 1980 was done, nor were there any criminal or civil charges , nothing EXCEPT the divorce proceedings and the woman's allegations, but nothing to back them up in any way, shape or form

There is NO history of violence, or restraining orders that is documented in any way

03-3-00358-5 Brame, David Allen 02-24-03 Respondent
Dissolution with Children (DIC)

wife filed divorce in 2003

From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer 

The bloodshed came a day after the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that documents in the couple's divorce case revealed a history of domestic violence. Crystal accused her husband of pointing his gun at her, trying to choke her in November and saying he "could snap my neck if he wanted to."

It was the fourth time in 2002 that he had tried to choke her, she said, noting that each time he had sent her flowers to apologize.

David Brame claimed he had been victimized in the relationship. He accused his wife of having a "ferocious temper" and being emotionally unstable (for which nothing was done, no one looked into her history)
so the "neighbor" who saw it has been tampered with since that same neighbor did NOT come forward AT THAT TIME, but the ex sure did say that about the gun....
Since Mr Brame was a police officer, this would have meant he would have lost everything due to these false accusations. It has been enough motive for murder/suicide in the past and it will be again far too often in the future unless we offer men the SAME protection we offer women for abuse. It would also mean he knew far too well what the results would be for any man accused of domestic abuse with or without any evidence to back it up.

It just may be time to do some REAL investigative reporting instead looking at only ONE side. You may want to start with the other side of the story and we will make it easy for you.

We often hear that reports like this state: We tried to contact the other side but they would not respond so we ask, will you respond to this information?

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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month

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