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The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life


Dave's Story

I was told to look on the internet for help and advice about a year ago. Our problems started in 1993 when my EX ran away with my son to Manchester about 150 miles away from where I live. I tried using solicitors and told them in the very beginning that my EX would not be able to cope with looking after my son. I was given contact but it was reduced every time I went to court. My EX made endless claims about both me and my son that no one ever checked to see if what she had said was true or not. After 7 years of failed contact and having lost all contact with my son for over 2 years, I had a call from my old solicitor saying my EX had contacted them asking for me to contact her. Without knowing my circumstances she then said take him or I will put him in care. Our old solicitors files will confirm every thing I have said but no one is interested in looking . It now turns out that every time I was concerned about my EX and her care of my son I was right. I tried twice to have my son put on the at risk register but that was never done. When my son came to live with me the social services came to see me stating that it was not the worst case they had dealt with because my son was not dead. I was only allowed to see my sons old school records that showed he had moved school on average every 6 months and all showed classic tell tail signs that he was unhappy and listed many problems. The social services in Salford had a case conference and made 6 recommendations about his mothers care but sadly it seems because she moved around so much none of these recommendations were followed though. I was also told that from the age of 4 until 11 years old my EX had also made my son take Ritalin which was only stopped after his growth had been noticed had stopped. It was the doctors who eventually told my EX she was not allowed any more that was just before she gave him away. We was told at the time that she could possibly be charged with abandonment but nothing was done. No one ever listened or helped us. Since then my son has lived with me and despite every thing she had done we never stopped her having contact with my son. None of us ever needed a solicitor and all was ok until she was asked to help because the mother of my other 2 children after having an affair she through us out and we were made homeless. I tried again with solicitors and even protested out side my old house but was sentenced to 40 days in prison despite my EX stopping me seeing my other 2 children. While I was in prison it was the school holidays and my son went to stay with his mother. But the day before I was released she applied for residence. I wrote to the court and told the judge I had already been given residence and that my son was only on a school holiday and wanted to return home to his dad but this was ignored. On the day of realise  I went to my local court and was most surprised to find Judge Altman and the Clark of the court both waiting for me to arrive in the main entrance, who said we know all about it. Judge Altman said I will called the Law society myself and get you a solicitor but he never did. The court never asked my son and ignored every thing we told them and made an interim order that my son stayed with my EX . My son did not want this and did not know any thing about it, When I rang my son my EX attacked him and my son ran away . My son called 999 but the police returned him to his mother and told me if I came and got him as he wanted I would be arrested. In the end my son ran away from his mother but not before she had attacked him again and got 3 trains back to his dad. My Ex knew where he was because we ran her and told her but after 2 days she then told the police I had harassed her and now again despite every thing she has done no one has questioned her and I am the one being prosecuted for a 40 minute phone call I made to her mobile and a few E-Mails I sent to her. The police have ignored every thing I have told them even after doing 2 -45 minute police interview tapes answering all their questions they have ignored every thing she has done, ignored my statement and my sons statement and have not questioned her .I thought some one on these mailing lists would be able to help us but again find there is no help. I was given court ordered contact to see my other 2 children and was given 2 hours every 2 weeks and out of the last 10 weeks I have only been allowed to see 1 of my other 2 children twice out of the last 5 visits and again no one cares .My son says what's the point dad they only ever listen to women and don't care about us. I have tried to find someone to help us but failed. My old solicitors refuse to give me my old files, the social service refuse to give us a copy of my sons social services file and again we fear the worst. We are due in court on the
9/10/6/2003 in Huddersfield charged with harassment. Mark Harrison's case history is very sad but it is not the worst case by a long way but as usual no one ever listens. Our case is over 11 years and most of it is all documented in our old solicitors files but who cares......

My SWORN STATEMENT

Before my dad was due to go to court we asked my mum to help him. All he asked for was a letter that said she was sorry for stopping contact over the years she didn't reply to me, but she did ring my dad saying she was not going to help and leave her out of this problem with Joanne as she was worried about what people would think of her.

On 12/8/02 dad went to court to see if he can have contact with my two younger brothers, but as usual the court did not listen to my dad, in fact they did the complete opposite they made things worse, they put my dad in to prison I was not aware of this until my mum told me. Later on in the week my mum said I had to go back to the flat to get some clothes and said to bring my big TV back because she only had a small TV .This she asked me lots of times but I said no because I was going to go home soon.

When Dad was in prison my mum went to court and got an interim resistant order what I did not know about and I did not want and I told them both every day that I did not want to stay there but no one listened to me even the police did not listen they just ignored me, I was only aware of this order when I wanted to go home and I got told I was only allowed to ring and text my dad, I was not allowed to see my dad or get or receive e- mails. I thought this was silly because I was only supposed to go to my mum's for the summer holidays instead I had to stay there against my will. on
14/10/02 my e-mail account stopped working, I thought this was strange because I had my Own e-mail account with my Own password and no one else was allowed on it but David Nightingale changed my password so I could not e-mail my dad or any one to find out what was going on. I texted my dad saying the computer was not working so he texted back saying that he would send me some stamps so I could write to him, but my mum said I was not allowed anything from my dad.

The next day mum said I was not allowed to ring my dad any more but I ignored her, later on in the day I was talking to my dad when my mum saw me and told me to get off the phone and I said no and that is when she started shouting and she started getting more and more aggressive towards me and started to push me and then in a burst of anger and whacked my phone out of my hands and grabbed my throat and then I went out of the house because I was very angry. I went to the local park and rang my dad to see what I should do my dad said ring 999 and explained what had happened, I told the police what had happened and I wanted to make a written complaint against my mum, but the police said I was being stupid. I rang them again and they said they have wrote it down and they will put it on record, but they said they will come round later to see if I was ok, but they never came , as usual the police did not listen to me and they have done nothing to help me. And because I kept ringing the police they said they will arrest me for making false allegations and wasting police time, that shows the system does not work! When I was taken back to my mums she said if I did go out of the house or try to go home she would have me put into a young offenders home and have an injunction so my dad could not see me. Because my dad rang my mum to ask if she had sorted everything out, but my mum reported to the police that my dad was harassing her so the police arrested my dad with out having any reason to, I thought this was unfair because they had no right to arrest my dad, the evidence they had was a load of rubbish because the charge of ringing David nightingale was a load of crap because how can you be on a phone for over 40 minuets, how is that harassing, if he did not like what my dad was saying he could of put the phone down! It is the same for my mum she could of bared his e-mail but she did not

So that is not harassment she did not even send an e-mail back saying stop writing e-mails, and because my mum did not write one back my dad did not know if Dave was getting them so he carried on writing them!

On 02/10/02 my dad went to court to see if he can have residence of me, my dad said some one will come and ask me where I wanted to live, but no one came dad, said the CAF-CASS, social services and police should of all come and asked where I wanted to live.

After my mum had spoken to the police she said the police said they had to take my mobile phone off me, because my dad put my number on our privet web site, the police said it was a danger to my health, I thought this was rubbish because it is a privet site and any one who goes on it is in the wrong, so how can they use that as a reason you take my phone off me, later on in that day my mum said seeing as you will not let me have the phone the police will take it, I said I will see about that and I said I was going out to see a girl, but I was actually going home, my dad had sent some money up in the post and sent it to my friend because if my dad sent it to my mum she would keep it because my mum said I was not allowed anything from my dad, I went down the road to the local taxi company and got a cab for 3 and ask him to go to the bus station in town when I got there I rang my dad to say I was coming home, but when I tried to buy my ticket the lady ask how old was I and I said 13 and the lady said I was not allowed on the bus unless I was with an adult, because I thought I was going home I burst into tears and rang my dad and I said I was not going to come home, so my dad wanted to talk to the lady just to make shore that I could not go home another way, when I had got off the phone from my dad the lady in the ticket shop said I could try and go by train , but I said I did not know how to get there so the lady took me a bit of the way and said it is just up the road, I was nearly there when I got stuck because I did not know which road to take but a kind man told me which way to go, when I got to the Train station I got a ticket and the lady said how old am I and I said 16 just to make shore I was allowed on the Train the lady thought I was older and sad if I had said I was 17 I would have had to pay a lot more she said my Train will be here in about 25 minutes, so I rang my dad up and said I was going to be home in about 2 hours, I was waiting on platform one and a Train came when my one was so poster come but I tough it was not mite because it said London and I wanted to go to Manchester Piccadilly station and then Crewe and then to Milton Keynes after the Tran had gone it started to ran so I went back in to the Tran station and sat down and the lady how gave me my ticket said has the Tran what was out side gone and I said yes, the lady said it was my Tran so we went and look up what time is the next Tran coming, the lady said in about 45 mantis because a car had crashed on to the Tran lines I said can I have a copy of the time table so I do not get off at the range station, the lady said course you can have one, when I had got off the Tran at Manchester I did not have to white for a long time for the Tran to go to Crewe when I got off at Crewe I had a bit of trouble because my mum and Dave Kept on ringing me to ask where I was I said I was in town, and my mum said I had 15 minuets to get back home or I am going to be grounded for 3 weeks, about 25 minuets later I was getting off at Milton Keynes I rang my dad who was already whiting for me out side the station, me and dad went to a friend house to stay the night, and my dad said to ring my mum, so she could not say I missing and to say that I was ok and that I wanted to live with my dad, she said what ever make's you happy, but why me and my dad was talking to catch up on what has happed my mum was on the phone saying that I was missing and sent the police looking for me, because my mum had sent the police looking for me and my dad we went to a caravan site because dads solicitors told dad to hide until Monday and then ring them to see what was going on, Saturday night the Huddersfield police rang dad on his mobile and said that they will not arrest him and I had to go down to the police station to see if I was ok, dad said that was fine but we will ring are solicitors to make shore that it was safe to go to the police station and that my dad will not be arrest and I will not be taken back to my mum's but, are solicitor rang us back up a couple of minuets later saying that the police were lying and that they are going to arrest my dad is we go there so I told my dad that we are not going to see the police, later on that day I went to a different friends house because the police did not no where she lived but my dad stayed at the other house later on that night the police came and search the house dad went up stairs to hide the police did not see dad hiding under the covers I do not no how the police missed him a big bump in the middle of the bed. The next night the police came again and wanted to search the house my dad got out of bed and went up stairs and hid under the bed my dad could not get under the bed so the lithed the double bed as he got under he drop the bed and it made a big bang and the police new he was in the house and then arrested him, so the next day I went down to Colchester to see a human rights solicitors at Colchester university, the solicitor told me that the police should not be allowed to arrest my dad, because I came to my dad and my dad did not come and get me, just as I was going my solicitor gave me a letter called a notice to register interest it says i have the right in-law, because im 13 years old, if I want to live with my dad I can! Later on that day my dad was let out of the cell at Milton Keynes magistrate's court about half past 4.

Later on that night at half past 10, the police rang my dad on his mobile and they said that whey wanted to talk to me, like most children I was asleep but my dad said that we will go to Milton Keynes police station in the in the afternoon, but the police did not wait they came at half past 8 morning to ask me where I wanted to live I said I wanted to live with my dad, the police said ok and then went, than me and my dad went shopping, went we got back home to are surprise we found that my mum had gone to another court to get me back by lying to Bradford county court by saying that I was unlawfully taken away, to get the police to bring me back. My mum also says on the court order, that I rang my mum the same day that I telephoned my mum and said that I am ok and that my dad like said, but my mum still reported me missing, I don't understand how she can report me missing because I told her, where I was, I sent a copy of my notice to register interest to the court that my mum was going to and had here court case thrown out, I have ask Huddersfield court to adjourn it to sort out all of are problems that my mum has caused us!

Written by my son..

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