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The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life

The Agony of Christmas


'Tis the Season to be jolly…or is it? 


Well it is for most people even in scratch that.  I am starting to wonder if most people will be jolly this year.  There are so many things to be concerned that will prevent that jolly feeling. 


Last month a half million people became unemployed.  I wonder how many of these people have any "ho ho ho" left as they wonder how their essential bills will be paid, bills such as those for heat and lights and basic food?   These men and women are not worried about keeping a corporate jet in the air; they are worried about keeping their homes above freezing.  Many will not have a means to give their loved ones gifts this year.  Although they know the adults will understand their children may not.  You see, as we have commercialized Christmas more and more over the last few decades, we have grown accustomed to allowing things to take the place of time.  Although our children may think having the latest X Box or Game Boy shows how much you love them, in the long run, they will realize that love is shown by the time they are given


There are many ways we can give things that are far more valuable then those things we can buy.  This can be shown by some recent requests children have had for Santa this year.  More and more children are not asking for gifts…they are asking Santa to help their dad or mom to get a job.  Others are asking that their dad or mom will be safe while they are deployed.  Still others just want to be able to see a parent they have not been able to see for years.  My friend, this is what I want to discuss for a few moments with you right now. It is why this message is titled the "Agony of Christmas."


Sometime ago, we posted an article by Arizona Fathers called  "The Road from Home"   which you can read here:


 This is a story of a boy that did not see his father for 3 years and finally he was going to see him but he wondered why he had to get dressed up for church on a Monday. Mommy explained that everyone was going to church to visit daddy. When the family arrived at the church, and the little boy saw his daddy for the first time in 3 years, he remembered the day that his daddy had to go away. 


The agony of Christmas I want to tell you about is that there are literally hundreds of thousands of men and some women who will not be able to see their children this Christmas.  This is not by choice; it is because they will not be allowed.  I have personally talked to many who have sent gifts to their children only to have them returned unopened as they knew their children were being told that they did not love them any more.  I am sure other gifts may well have been repackaged and given  "from Santa" 


The Agony of Christmas will be further played out with an increase in suicides at this time of year.  We have already seen this when a father in Georgian took his own life the day before Thanksgiving when family court took away his right to be a father to his children after listening only to one side while ignoring the other.    I have seen this so very often throughout the year but more so at this time. 


I have written to many Christian ministries only to be ignore as I am sure this may be too because not only are business focused on getting as much money as possible, I think these ministries are afraid of revealing the truth for fear donations will decrease but is not the truth more important?   Oh, they are quick to point out the feminist lies about domestic violence but when given the opportunity to discover the truth, they too will bury their heads in the sand.  Many of the Christian "ministries" that focus on domestic abuse will present only the statistics that we will find on gender feminist sites but they will not explore unbiased sources.  They too demonize men in general just as many churches do on Father's day when men are blamed for all the evils of society. 


In a message titled Bitter/Sweet….The Hidden Feminist Agenda

This is stated:


Children from fatherless homes account for:

63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).

71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)

90% of all homeless and runaway children.

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (DOJ, Special Report)

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source:Center for Disease Control).

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26).

71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools ).

 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source:  Rainbows for all God`s Children).

(Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections

85% of all youths sitting in prisons.


In spite of this our family courts, often upon the insistence of CPS will remove the father and make him a visitor The irony is this is suppose to be for the "good of the children yet 65% of all child abuse is by the mother but the father gets custody in about 10% of  all contested cases. Does this not sound like it fits this profile...sweet in the mouth but bitter in the belly?


In this bitter/sweet agenda, we find the removal of all weapons from fathers without any due process of law by demanding they be turned in when a  restraining order is filed against him and don't take much to get one of those pieces of paper. All women need do is say...I am afraid and she's got one.


Getting the picture? Let me clarify it a bit more. Fathers have throughout time fought to protect their families...their wife and kids. Think of Brave Heart and the Patriot to get a good picture of this. Now think of the founding fathers of the United States when in their wisdom they included the right to bear arms, not for each man to protect himself from foreign invaders, but to protect his family from our own government, the same government we have today that has tried to pass strict gun controls but have been "shot down" by the National Rifle Association or the NRA. Now comes along these domestic violence laws which although it has always been a crime to assault someone is now classified a "civil" matter and thus much less due process of law is needed to take away Constitutional rights such as we see in the right to bear arms and that we should not lose any liberties without due process of law


Folks, hundreds of thousands of men have lost these rights without any due process. I can only think of one reason for this. The Bible tells of one world dictator that will soon be coming. To set the stage for this, this person will need to assure full compliance with little or no resistance as possible. Remove a loving father and husband from their home, and most will have lost their will to fight. Coupled with the fact that most of the guns have now been removed, he has little to fight with if he does chose to fight. Result, our liberties...our freedom will have been removed by the very laws that seemed so sweet in our mouth...but now that it is in our will have destroyed the same society that we were told it was protecting!


The agony of Christmas is not so much the economy although that is adding to it this year.  Once again the agony of Christmas is that so many men and some women will be kept from their children as they know these precious children are being told they do not love them any more.  How many suicides will it take before anyone will listen?  Will anyone care if another 7 year old finally gets to see dad or mom as they are lying in a casket?


To the Christian ministries this may be sent to, Shattered Men is not asking for a dime…but we are asking for PRAYER.    Over the last several years, we have seen many men and women kept from suicide because we are willing to listen.  How many could be saved if they only knew about this ministry?   Oh I do not want anyone to know who I am, but I do want everyone to know the REAL solution to the problems of abuse.   Everything I have written includes this solution and it will be a part of every workshop we present.  We know it is the solution because it works. 

The real solution….is a right relationship with Jesus Christ as you can find here:




Shattered Men is aimed for those who do not know the LORD as well as for the Christian men and women who have or are suffering from abuse.  Many of those who have come to Shattered Men were not Christians when they came but they are now. About a  half dozen have been pastors who have told us that they are in an abusive relationship and do not know where to turn.  Many of the Christian men who have come to us have told us that when they tried to talk to their pastors, they felt abused even more.  Many were ready to give up on Christianity until they found....Shattered Men.


There are many Christians who would love to find a place to get help for an abusive relationship that would love to find a place to go that addresses this from  a Biblical point of view.  Some of those receiving this may not like this approach but could you let those on your list know about Shattered Men for those that would like to find a Biblically based source of support?


The Purpose of Shattered Men


I want people to know how it feels to have your children stolen from you.  Please read this:


We do not want to destroy marriage, we want to save them


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